Too Much Dr. Seuss

Image re-posted from:
http://childrensbooksguide.com/fun/
one-fish-two-fish-red-fish-blue-fish

It is no secret to my family and closest friends that I tend to talk to myself…a lot (and sometimes with a British accent). I have full on conversations with myself while getting ready in the mornings. Sometimes playing out possible conversations or confrontations with other people. Sometimes just making a verbal to-do list for the day. When in the car alone, I like to converse with myself in the rear view mirror and sing the wrong lyrics to songs on the radio as loud as possible.

Our nightly routine of bedtime stories with my children usually consists of a Dr. Seuss book or two. I can recite One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish and There’s a Wocket in My Pocket almost word for word by memory. Lately, I have noticed my usual mumblings to myself have taken on a rhyming tone. Like this one composed while folding laundry tonight:

One sock, Two socks, No sock, Missing sock

This one has a little hole.

This one must go, go, go.

This one’s partner has run away.

This one was white and now it’s gray.     

                                                         

Yep, it’s time for a straight jacket.

I do not like the way I am.

I think motherhood is a scam.

I can’t remember anything.

All I do is sing, sing, sing.

A, B, C, D, E, F, G

Next time won’t you sing with me?

My clothes are stained. My hair’s a mess.

My hair is falling out from stress.

McDonalds PlayPlace everyday,

My thighs weren’t meant to look this way.

Fast food prison, set me free.

A size 4 is what I’d like to be.

Yoga pants will have to do,

Until I lose a pound or two.

I do not like this lack of sleep.

It’s not working counting sheep.

Perhaps I’ll clean the house instead,

Before I lay down my head.

I’ll count the toys I put away,

Strewn about from all day play.

I’ll sneak a peek at little ones all snuggled in their beds,

With 15 toys around their heads.

Sleeping angels they appear to be

And for a moment I agree.

My morning begins again at 6 o’clock

And the crankiness is no shock.

We are not morning folk, you see

Coffee at sunrise is not for me.

And so the day’s routine begins,

Brushing teeth and wiping chins.

I’ll do it all again today

Wash and clean and sing and play.

And though motherhood may have fried my brain,

And I may be found legally insane,

I wouldn’t change a thing

No matter what today may bring.

Without a doubt, I am profoundly blessed

And being a Mommy is what I love best.

I'm So Over

I’m SO over this getting up with the birds stuff. Every morning when the alarm goes off at 6:00am, I want to sling it across the room and hide under the covers. Since my son prefers to sleep in, I have become accustomed to getting breakfast for my daughter, turning on cartoons for her and going back to bed. For the next couple of hours I lay there with closed eyes and answer “yes” to requests for anything she asks for before I want to get up…television, video games, marshmallows, you name it. However, with the commencement of the school year, this early morning laziness has now come to a halt. Now with drooping eyes and dragging ass, I scurry about packing lunches, picking out clothes, brushing teeth. Ugh! And forget about sleeping in on the weekend too. Once a two year old’s internal alarm is set for 6:00am, it’s all over!

I’m SO over mopping my floors. With two small children, two dogs and a husband, is it really worth the effort? Last Monday, I spent two hours sweeping, mopping, vacuuming, and steam cleaning every room in the house. You could eat off of them. Not five minutes later, I walk into the dining room to find my son shaking his “no spill” sippy cup of apple juice all over. Today, after another deep cleaning session, I turn around to see a shredded, soiled diaper littering the hallway and bathroom floors. Nope. No more. Next time I'll save my energy and take the open bottle of bleach into the closet and just sniff till I pass out!

I’m SO over Wal-mart. Enough said.

I’m SO over multi-tasking. Is it too much to ask to be able to do one thing at a time? As a mom, I am well trained in juggling activities. I have become all too familiar with eating dinner at the dryer while folding clothes. I can dislodge a matchbox car from what ever it is stuck in without ever looking away from my computer screen. I can carry on a phone conversation while refereeing my children in isle four of the grocery store. But is two minutes of “quiet time” on the toilet an unreasonable request? Must I truly negotiate peace and direct all household activities by yelling at the top of my voice from the throne? Before I even sit down, I hear screaming followed by the parade of little ones bombarding the bathroom. Why is it everyone is starving at this particular moment? Did the dog wait for me to walk out of the room before he ate my son’s Pop Tart? Must I find Strawberry Shortcake’s hat this very minute? Maybe one day I will get to poop in peace. Until then, that “whoosh” sound you hear next time we talk, that’s the sound of a multi-tasking mommy.

My Oh, My! How Time Flies!

The frequency of my posts may be some indicator of how busy life is these days. As the kids grow older and older before my eyes, we rush to and fro checking off milestones, it seems, on a daily basis now. I look at my "babies", now 2 and 4 years old, and wonder where did the time go?

Bucket has now officially entered the ranks of kindergarten. Though she is one of the youngest in her class, she seems so grown up. I walked her to class the first day with a lump in my throat and holding her little hand so tight. I watched as she sat down at her desk and began immediately to befriend the little girl beside her, totally oblivious to my presence. I kissed her goodbye and walked out. She smiled and waved, completely prepared to take on her day. Now, I am not a helicopter mom by any means, but separation anxiety set in. How could this happen? How is my baby girl so grown up? I am excited for Megan to begin this next stage of her life. No doubt it will be enjoyable doing things with one child in tow and spending quality time with Jackson, but I truly miss her.

Now that I have survived the emotional turmoil of the first week, we are concentrating on making our new routine more, well, routine. We are NOT morning people, nor will we ever be. The early morning wakeup has taken a physical toll on me. I'm praying that 6:00a.m. becomes easier every day. I'm happy to report that we haven't been late for school once all week (a sincere concern of my husband's).

The boy is truly a BOY now! Running, jumping, climbing...he is never still. Dirt just hangs off of him and a crust seems to form in various places on his body. I'm finding rocks in the dryer and hot wheels in my dishwasher. Yesterday, I followed a trail of muddy little footprints leading from the dog water on the patio, through the kitchen, and down the hall to the bathroom. He must have known what he had done and logically, was cleaning his feet with toilet water and the bath mat. Jackson is now in preschool two days a week. My separation angst wasn't quite as bad leaving him at preschool as he went periodically through the summer. And after all, he is the second child. Why wouldn't he get shafted?

Potty training has inevitably begun, despite my best efforts. With Megan, I was so excited to begin her training. Dreaming of days without diapers, we began before she was two years old. Being the stubborn child that she is, she took her sweet time and was nearly three before going in the potty. Number two is exciting, of course, but there just isn't as much time as there used to be because you're divided - your attention is divided, your patience is divided, your threshold for crap is divided (though, miraculously, not your love...that doubles). However, Jackson has decided he is ready and pulls his pants down at every opportunity (already the little man). He pooped on the potty for the first time today. I proceeded to cheer and jump up and down congratulating him on his victory. He flushed the potty and trotted out to get his reward (candy) and went on about his day. It may have been a fluke, but at least it's a step in the right direction.

At the end of each day, before complete and utter exhaustion sets in, I am thankful for my little blessings and the fleeting moments that burn precious memories onto my heart.

Itsy Bitsy Spider

Image re-posted from:  http://indomitablyirresistible.wordpress.com/category/just-for-fun/

As I was putting on my makeup yesterday morning, I hear Megan screaming, "Mommy, there's a spider!"  Anyone who knows my daughter knows she is not the little princess type.  She is a rough and tough little girl full of piss and vinegar.  However, this is one area in which she was predisposed to weakness.  Momma doesn't do spiders either!  We have been trying to teach her not to be afraid of bugs.  So, while still a room away (having not seen the spider), I told her to step on it and pick it up with a tissue.  After more screaming, I went to see.  Holy Mother of God!  It was a dinner plate sized tarantula (insert slight exaggeration here) under her bed.  It took 10 minutes, a phonebook, a fly swat, the broom, and half a roll of paper towels to kill and dispose of that thing...all while trying to wrangle my son away from petting the "puppy".  One of the single grossest moments of my life.  It didn't phase Megan much.  In fact, Itsy Bitsy Spider was the chosen song at bedtime.  I, on the other hand, did not sleep at all, despite the fact that I checked every nook and cranny before going to bed.  Yuck!

Hello Again

Well, this is the first time I have blogged in quite a while. No one tells you how much your life changes from having one child to having two. I just don't seem to have enough hours in the day, or enough hands to juggle everything. What an incredible year 2009 was. My daughter turned 3 years old and we welcomed Jackson to our family, who is now almost 8 months old. I am facing new challenges everyday as my parenting skills are put to the test. The terrible twos have nothing on the terrifying threes!! Megan is really becoming independent now and her little personality is shining bright. She is so full of life and energy...I just wish I was! Jackson is hitting every milestone early. He has a mouth full of teeth and is crawling everywhere now. Wow, are they hard to keep up with! Nick is doing well but has been TDY quite a bit the last few months. I miss my honey and Megan misses her Daddy!

My New Year's resolution to lose weight has once again fallen flat. I just can't seem to keep my motivation. I joined a Zumba dance class and started a diet and was doing great. Then, with Nick gone, my comfort eating crutch kicked in. I wish I wasn't an emotional eater! So, I'm just trying to do the best I can and not get discouraged. I'd really like to look decent by this summer. Wish me luck!

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." - Phillipians 4:13

Goodnight Moon

When did bedtime become so complicated? Our nightly routine used to be so scheduled and quick. Now it seems something new is added each night. One story becomes two, then a song, then a kiss, we say our prayers asking God to bless everyone in the family (listing each by name), another kiss, "night light please", search every corner of the room for bear bear and duck duck, then another song...Aaaaah! Mommy's so tired! I still cherish this wonderful routine with my daughter every night but Megan, cut Mommy some slack!

Dear Skinny Jeans

Dear Skinny Jeans,

It has been too long since we've been together. I know you are still there in the deepest recesses of my closet, begging for light. I know you've seen me hanging around new, bigger jeans. You've watched as I've cheated on you with far more comfortable wide band maternity pants. But those days are over. I've given away all of my maternity pants once and for all. I've tried you on and nothing. I've pleaded with you to zip and begged your beautiful denim to caress my hips. Can you ever find it in your pockets to forgive me? Can't you remember the way you wrapped yourself around me and we danced all night? We looked so great together back then. I know I have to work at it, but I want you back in my life. I'm tired of pretending with my fat jeans. Sure, they zip...but they'll never make me happy. I've given up M&M's and donuts, sweet tea and Coke. I'm doing more crunches than I have in years. Does that mean nothing to you? What more do you want from me? Oh, SJ come back to me! We belong together.

Megan-isms

"Mommy Cheese" = macaroni and cheese

"Tooper n Wawson" = Cooper and Lawson (our dogs' names)

"Booty n Beans" = Beauty and the Beast

"I'm poopin', I'm poopin', I'm poopin' " = "empujon, empujon, empujon" (in an episode of Dora the Explorer, they are pushing a pirate ship and singing "empujon, empujon, empujon" - which is the Spanish word for push)

Milestone

I can't believe Jackson just rolled over for the first time today at only 9 weeks old. I put him down for a nap on his tummy and he woke up on his back. What a big boy! This precious time is passing far too quickly. My babies are growing before my eyes. Can't I freeze time and keep them little forever?

Two Sleeping Angels

We've just returned home from a 3 week trip to Arkansas to spend time with family while Nick is deployed. The trip home should take about 10 hours of driving time...but with a 2 month old, a 2 year old and two dogs, it now takes about 17 hours. My parents drove back with me and we stopped halfway in Yukon, OK for the night. Exhausted after a long day in the car, we quickly bathed and put the kiddos to bed. My room had two queen beds. I tucked Megan snugly in her own bed and set Jackson's bassinet beside my bed. The dogs quickly settled in at the foot of my bed. I had just settled in and laid my head on my pillow when I heard, "Mommy, mommy's bed pleeeease?" Being of the school of thought that children shouldn't sleep in the bed with us, I quickly said, "No." Megan has always slept in her own bed from day one. But I looked into her eyes and after another adorable, "pleeeease?" I gave in. She crawled into bed with me and we said her prayers and sang Jesus Loves Me. She quickly drifted off to sleep. Although exhausted, I laid there in bed listening to the sounds of the room. The dogs were already sound asleep, snoring and chasing rabbits in their dreams. Jackson was singing his usual "sleep song", cooing away in dreamland. Megan was gently sighing with the rise and fall of each breath, her little hand resting on my arm. The only thing missing was Nick by my side. Tears welled up in my eyes and I prayed to God for Nick's safe return and thanked Him for my two sleeping angels.