I'm So Over

I’m SO over this getting up with the birds stuff. Every morning when the alarm goes off at 6:00am, I want to sling it across the room and hide under the covers. Since my son prefers to sleep in, I have become accustomed to getting breakfast for my daughter, turning on cartoons for her and going back to bed. For the next couple of hours I lay there with closed eyes and answer “yes” to requests for anything she asks for before I want to get up…television, video games, marshmallows, you name it. However, with the commencement of the school year, this early morning laziness has now come to a halt. Now with drooping eyes and dragging ass, I scurry about packing lunches, picking out clothes, brushing teeth. Ugh! And forget about sleeping in on the weekend too. Once a two year old’s internal alarm is set for 6:00am, it’s all over!

I’m SO over mopping my floors. With two small children, two dogs and a husband, is it really worth the effort? Last Monday, I spent two hours sweeping, mopping, vacuuming, and steam cleaning every room in the house. You could eat off of them. Not five minutes later, I walk into the dining room to find my son shaking his “no spill” sippy cup of apple juice all over. Today, after another deep cleaning session, I turn around to see a shredded, soiled diaper littering the hallway and bathroom floors. Nope. No more. Next time I'll save my energy and take the open bottle of bleach into the closet and just sniff till I pass out!

I’m SO over Wal-mart. Enough said.

I’m SO over multi-tasking. Is it too much to ask to be able to do one thing at a time? As a mom, I am well trained in juggling activities. I have become all too familiar with eating dinner at the dryer while folding clothes. I can dislodge a matchbox car from what ever it is stuck in without ever looking away from my computer screen. I can carry on a phone conversation while refereeing my children in isle four of the grocery store. But is two minutes of “quiet time” on the toilet an unreasonable request? Must I truly negotiate peace and direct all household activities by yelling at the top of my voice from the throne? Before I even sit down, I hear screaming followed by the parade of little ones bombarding the bathroom. Why is it everyone is starving at this particular moment? Did the dog wait for me to walk out of the room before he ate my son’s Pop Tart? Must I find Strawberry Shortcake’s hat this very minute? Maybe one day I will get to poop in peace. Until then, that “whoosh” sound you hear next time we talk, that’s the sound of a multi-tasking mommy.