Satan is an A-Hole!

While driving to school this morning, I was having a typical discussion with Megan about God and Satan.  She's always quite chatty in the car in the mornings, reciting memory verses and stories she has learned from school.  She was telling me all about how good God was and that He see's everything.  She began mumbling then blurted out "Satan is an A-hole!"  Shocked, I asked, "What did you say?"  "Satan is an A-hole!", she repeated.  I proceeded to explain that word was inappropriate and we don't say that.  I asked where she learned that word and she said her teacher.  I knew that wasn't possible.  I scolded her again and told her we should talk about God and how good He is and not about Satan.  He wasn't worth talking about.  She continued babbling happily as my thoughts drifted.  

Megan has a habit of repeating words even after she knows they aren't allowed.  She will say something like, "We don't say Stupid.  Stupid is a bad word."  Contemplating this possibility, I felt it may be wise to warn her teacher of her new found vocabulary.  I wouldn't want her caught off guard by my daughter spewing profanity.  I walked Megan to her classroom and pulled Mrs. C. to the side.  I begin to explain, my eyes filled with shame.  She stopped me mid-sentence, her eyes wide and a smile forming.  She begin to chuckle as she explained she had been teaching that Satan was an ANGEL!  An ANGEL!  Of course!  Why hadn't I thought of that?  I was so relieved.  We laughed for a moment before I slinked out of the classroom and down the hall, practically jogging to my car.  

Embarrassed but elated, I started the car already forming thoughts of another inevitable discussion this afternoon.  I must now explain to Megan with precise pronunciation that ANGEL is not a bad word!

DIY Project With My Kiddo

With Megan now learning to perfect her handwriting in Kindergarten, I have been searching for inventive ideas to help her.  I came up with a project we could do together.  A perpetual calendar seems like an antiquated idea in this age of technology, but I still find a wall calendar both charming and necessary to schedule my weekly activities.  I can never find a store-bought calendar that appeals to me.  Lighthouses and kittens don't really fit into my home decor.  I felt a home-made perpetual calendar would be both a fun project for Megan and a low-tech way to track the days forever and ever (i.e. post zombie apocalypse).

Gather your kids, supplies, and creativity and get started!

What you will need:  card stock paper, markers or crayons, magnetic tape, magnetic dry erase board, clear packing tape

1.  Have child write number (1-31) and months onto cardstock.  

2.  Cut numbers into squares and months into rectangles and have child color or decorate.

3.  "Laminate" numbers and months with packing tape, placing paper in between two pieces of tape.  Press firmly and trim edges.

4.  Cut magnetic tape into pieces and paste on back of laminated numbers and months.

5.  Position numbers and month onto magnetic dry erase board or calendar.  You now have a masterpiece created by your little one that can be used for many years to come.

Mmmmm.....cheese.

In an effort to continue on my never-ending weight loss journey, I was online researching fat/calorie content of my favorite restaurant foods.  I took a little detour when I stumbled upon this...

Denny's Mac 'n Cheese Big Daddy Patty Melt

http://www.dennys.com/#/menu/menu-13

Wow!  A whopping 1,690 calories and 99g of fat!  Are you kidding me?  Could anyone, in good conscience, read the nutritional information and continue to stuff this greasy mound of artery-hardening substance into their pie hole?  Now, Lord knows I'm no health nut.  McDonald's sweet tea and Hershey's chocolate bars keep me going most days.  But this is just too extreme.  

Family Photos

I don't know why I continue to have visions of Norman Rockwell style family photos.  Every holiday and special occasion I envision us all nestled together in front of the camera, smiling sweetly, producing images worthy of the cover of a magazine.  This has never been the case, nor will it ever be.  While most children turn into smiling, posing little hams at the sight of a camera, mine run fleeing in the opposite direction.  Maybe I took too many photos of them as babies.  Maybe I scarred their little retinas with flash after flash of every milestone in their lives.  Maybe their Native American ancestry is coming through and they are afraid the camera will steal their spirit.  Whatever the case may be, they hate to have photos taken.  I usually begin bargaining with promises of ice cream and candy then quickly resort to threatening and beating between snapshots.  (Screaming and tear-free cries can sometimes appear as beautiful smiles in a photograph...a little memory editing may be needed.)

We haven't had the dreaded family photos taken since Jackson was born more than two years ago, so I felt a torture session was in order. I enlisted the help of my dear friend and photographer, Audrea White.  With camera in hand and armed with the patience of Job, she proceeded to snap some beautiful images of our family.  

Here are a few of my favorites...